I have provided care for someone. These are the thoughts and feelings I keep to myself.

I am already a carer before my husband becomes ill. Our daughter has a disability and needs support every day. Then my husband becomes ill, and something in me shifts.…

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer mid 2023. I supported him through major surgery and then chemo. By mid 2024 I felt resentful that he was rejecting…

When my mother first became disabled, she was constantly moving between hospital, rehab, and nursing facilities. I thought that once she was in professional care, some of the pressure would…

Caring for my mother who is becoming increasingly frail means looking after both her body and her heart. The physical care is constant. Some days, I feel like I am…

My son has severe autism, and caring for him means every day begins with planning. Before I even think about work, I am coordinating his schedule with life coaches, therapists,…

My child lives with Chronic pain & wakes most days crying & goes to sleep most days crying. I feel like it is too much. I find the crying very…

I 24/7 care for my tetraplegic husband (due to MS) 15 years in a wheelchair. While our basic needs are covered for him through support services and Mana Whaikaha funding,…

For over five years I would travel to the Hawkes Bay to visit my Uncle and ensure that he was doing okay, he enjoyed these visits...... however as he outlived…

I think I understand what being busy means now. I work, manage a household, pay bills, and try to keep life moving. But nothing compares to caring for my husband…

Our Journey as a Family Carer Three years ago, in August, our lives changed forever. We had only just relocated to my partner’s hometown a week or two earlier, excited…

I am a solo parent of a giant mute brain injured man, the system that you would expect to work in partnership with seems to be the enemy,always they make…

I provided care for my father-in-law after he became frail after his illness. At first, it was small things. I would drop off groceries, remind him to take his medication,…

Over time I feel like I have lost the parts of myself that used to exist outside of caring for my husband. I no longer really have hobbies. The things…

Thank you for the opportunity to tell my story (abridged) I have found the process incredibly cathartic as I worked through my deepest concerns – concerns that are diametrically different…

I cared for both of my parents during some of the hardest years of their lives. My mother had dementia, and over time it became clear that she needed more…

My husband was diagnosed with young onset Alzheimer’s disease in his fifties. We were not old. We were still working, making plans, thinking about retirement, family and the future we…

Caring for someone with a long-term illness is complicated. It can be rewarding, but it can also be emotionally consuming in ways that are difficult to explain. For me, caregiving…

I have a very long story. It all started with my son being born with Down syndrome and a serious heart condition. We battled to keep him alive along with…

It’s bone-grinding hard and mentally exhausting, trudging through the days, months and years that are repetitive out of necessity. Their needs are life and death, so they come first, your…

I thought about killing myself this week. Im not sure if I can carry on. I had to quit my job I love to care for my son. I love…

My husband suffered a stroke in 2008. It affected his personality and his memory. Two more strokes followed and then his general health began to go downhill. For the last…

I am a family carer for someone living with a severe brain injury. People often talk about supporting the injured person, improving rehabilitation outcomes, and helping people live independently. Those…

(please note: some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved) I did not realise how much I would appreciate this opportunity. Initially, when I…

Please understand what I have written largely relates to myself and my wife. Alzheimer's is an illness that is unique to every sufferer. The illness may fall into a category…

My youngest daughter (mid 20s) suffers from very severe ME/CFS. She is bed-bound and needs 24 hour care, sometimes even needing help to roll over in bed. She is nursed…

My partner and I are both in our early 50's, and he was diagnosed with early onset dementia 2 years ago. The diagnosis of moderate to severe dementia meant the…

I am currently caring for my husband who has motor neurone disease. We are coming up to two years since diagnosis. We do have adult children. But they are unable…

I care for two neurodivergent kids with high needs. Ive been suicidal due to complete burn out and exhaustion. My parents live 2 mins down the road but because my…

I was pulled into my Mums care and was relieved to be able to altho it didn't last long ...one summer to be exact.Actually I was her least favourite child…

After Ten Years: A Carer’s Account of Living With Invisible Consequences Over the last ten years, caring for my daughter [name withheld] has become every part of our family’s life.…

I am a full time carer and a solo parent to my son, a teenage male. He lives with both autism and heart disease. I was also a community support…

I am the full time carer for my husband who had MND for the last 6 years. I also care for our daughters aged who are under 10. Im lucky…

I have raised two children on behalf of the State. Both have significant learning and physical health needs. The biggest hurdle was the betrayal by Government depts especially in CYFS…

I started off voluntary feeding in a Resthome in a North Island town, called [name withheld] Resthome when my older cousin was working as a Caregiver, since that day I…

My partner was put in respite care and the staff had no sensitivity to her specific needs. They agreed to let me stay with her after visiting hours until she…

My partner is physically disabled and neurodivergent. I am neurodivergent and mentally ill. The support we receive from the government is not enough to maintain quality of life. I am…

I Looked after my Mum after my Dad passed away in his late 60s. At that stage my Mum had had a number of strokes, orthopaedic surgeries and had died…

My partner has several long-term health issues that mean they haven't been able to work for 20 years. Life has been put on hold for them, and its hard to…

I hate how it ruined the trajectory of our lives. That I had to give up work. That there was no real support. That noone stepped up to help. That…

My mother had a stroke and lost all hearing. My wife and I decided we would leave the country we were living in and come back to NZ (for me)…

I have provided care for someone while i cant take care of my own parents. As an immigrant living in NZ, we are sacrificing alot that we left everything behind…

I have cared for both of my parents who were not mobile... Thoughts of helplessness, hurt, depression anxiety sad and mostly loneliness....

I have to look after myself. I am a 50 yo man, with a degenerative joints disease that we've been working on for over 10 years. I also have some…

thank you for considering my story in your work

We had the suprise of our 2nd daughter being special needs it has been a long journey she is now 28 integrated into community activities and manages her money .…

I am the full time carer of a young woman with multiple disabilities. We are a single income family and are more fortunate than other carers because we can afford…

I am a registered nurse. I work within the health system, and I look after sick and disabled people. It is far easier to do this than it is to…

I have an autistic child who is now in their early 20s. It's been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. 2 years ago I burnt out…

This is a blog i wrote and is an issue the disabled community tend to ignore - This reflection is written from lived experience as a parent within the disability…

I care for my darling husband who lives with chronic PTSD...As a former mental health csw i know the signs to be aware of and when to gently intervene...I will…

As an only child, I felt that the burden of caring for Dad fell on no one else but me, including my husband and our four young children at the…

​Caring for my dad in his final days was the greatest honor of my life, but it was also the heaviest thing I have ever carried. I constantly battled a…

Caring for my Son for 50yrs has been a roller coaster ride he has bipolar. When he was a teenager he tried to take his life as he was not…

I helped care for my mother when she deteriorated quickly. She was under the care of a prominent agency before she died. My sibling and I have a poor relationship.…

I have cared for my mother and brother. But this is the wonderful journey of my brother in 2019. We received a phone call from his partner stating he was…

I care for my disabled brother. Both of my parents have passed away and made no provision for him before they died. I think my brother has a life where…

So while I wasn’t the direct caregiver, I still have a story I’d like to share. My grandmother developed dementia in her late 80s. It was so sad because she…

There is no logic, rhyme nor reason. Who knew there would be so much guilt? It's an awful, cruel disease robbing every memory moments after they happened. No recall, just…

My mother was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia with Alzheimer's in 2023. I became my mother's carer. The year before, Pop had passed. One of my siblings passed in 2024. It…

I cared for both parents, dad in a resthome where I worked, had I not worked there he would have been at home, I had 5 siblings at the time…

My siblings and I provided care to my mother during the last stages of cancer. There was so much about this time I will be forever grateful for. But this…

I have supported/cared for my wife who has long term mental illness for over 8 yrs. It’s been a bloody hard road and I don’t often talk about it because…

From being told the gp thought she was autistic as a toddler to her being uplifted by cyfs in a 30 second ambush in a public place based on false…

Staying upbeat is the hardest. So many hospital admissions stays visits for heart issues lately. Luckily money is not an issue at the moment as he is on the pension…

I cared for my husband during his roughly year long battle with terminal stomach cancer while also looking after our 2 kids both with autism, the youngest more severe and…

My story isn’t about family, it’s about members of my community who needed support accessing the services they are entitled to and rallying members of the community to volunteer their…

My 2 youngest adult children have disabilities. One has ADHD,ODD. The other has an intellectual disability plus a few others. I'm a single mum and its been and is a…

I cared for my beautiful husband, he had terminal brain cancer for nearly a year and a half. We both lived through this. As his caregiver aswell as working. The…

My mother has a stage 4 brain tumour. It has caused her to be more emotional and difficult. She is rigid in her thinking and demanding. She can be rude…

I have a young child with multiple medical conditions and I struggle daily trying to stay on top of them. Sometimes I think they would be better off without me…

My mum is a chronic, acute hoarder - to the point it is a risk to her wellbeing and life. I’ve tried to get her help multiple times before, after…

My youngest adult daughter has a genetic degenerative neurological condition, its horrible for her slowly becoming more and more dependent, sometimes I get so frustrated with her as apathy is…

I have three kids, two with disabilities. It’s been really hard. Sometimes I feel like giving up completely. I often feel so isolated and unsupported in my role as their…

Providing care to my son meant I missed out on spending time with my mother after her cancer diagnosis. I spend every day trying not to let my son know…

I’m not sure if I’m technically a caregiver. But I have a child with a number of neurological conditions. His support needs aren’t particularly high but it does take a…

Hello, I have been a caregiver for my grandmother, in her early 90s. She suffered from heart failure, dementia, sepsis and frailty. there was so many new feelings I experienced…

I have a great deep love for my mum. She loved me unconditionally, supported and helped me grow into the woman I am today. There are times that I felt…

I cared for my profoundly physically and intellectually disabled son, who required support for everything, at home for the first 17 years of his life. He died in his early…

I love caring for my partner and I feel deeply for them in everything they are going through and I am so proud of everything they achieve despite it. But…

Tena koutou. I'm a wahine in my 70s. This is about my moko who is in her late 20s. She has been diagnosis with a terminal illness. Although I'm not…

CRPS is despair, disabiling, destroying and often the desire of 1's demise. Caring and 'Caring'.... how hard to be both while sum1 so loved suffers beyond limits acceptable. Claim accepted…

At the time, there wasn’t really space to process what it meant. Survival just took over. My baby needed care, strength, and stability — so that’s what was given. Everything…

I am raising one of the most wonderful, vibrant & incredibly himself brings I have ever had the honor of meeting. A person we made, a person we love beyond…

My child has just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes under the age of 3. I was slightly older when I was diagnosed. While I’m thankful we’ve caught this early,…

I am 59. I tried my hardest to care for my mum she was so stubborn and difficult. I did all her chores. Cooked took her to appointments. Tried to…

He may be able bodied but in the home he forgets I need help too, the days I do the 5am wake up, the breakfast, lunch and dinner, the dishes…

I care for my papa, It used to be that I cared for my nan and papa until she passed recently - Before I became a paid home caregiver for…

I hate the random waves of sadness and grief I feel when I see them with neurotypical peers, feeling that are immediately followed by feelings of shame and guilt for…

After caring for my mother in law for 3 years, constant yo-yo in and out of hospital for chronic health issues, and holding down a full time job created major…

I am still uncovering the thoughts and feelings that I am keeping; even from myself, while I care for someone. I have the privilege to care for my husband. He…

I’m worthless unless I’m doing something for others. Any time I prioritise myself, it’s ridiculous how to custard everything turns. My needs being pushed back for back for so long…

Gosh my thoughts - that my daughter can’t leave this world before I do and I’m not ready to leave yet I want so much to take that thing in…

I cared for my mother-in-law for 3 1/2 years before she was assessed as needing rest-home level care. Initially, with her walker, she was relatively independent, but over time her…

I provide occasional care for an older person (with mobility issues and many chronic health conditions) who is not directly related to me. They have very few other people they…

I get a lot of satisfaction in knowing that I am choosing to do something that most people wouldn't. That is, caring for someone with a serious brain injury in…

As well as caring for them, I need to work and take care of everything else for the household - without making them feel useless. And in order to be…

My mother had always been a strong woman. She was firm, proud, and not someone who showed softness easily. She could also be physically and emotionally abusive, giving us lots…