The village we needed when pēpi arrived

I never grew up with a constant male in my house. I had father figures but never a constant. Now being a pāpā theres ALOT i dont know. Im scared…

My friends and I use to joke about the things our boomer parents would say to us as parents. I say joke, but I think we were all seeking that…

Just a real quick one here, advice I now give to new parents to be... If you can, plan your birth support for the first 48 hours after the labour…

I had my first baby while working overseas, I had no idea how important the village would be and how soon it is needed. Looking back, even the pregnancy was…

My granddaughter suffered from post natal depression right in front of us, but she hid it so well that we had no idea. We were all really surprised when she…

I thought I was a monster. "What kind of mother can't feel love for her own children?" I'd think. There were days I would consider leaving them with their father…

When I had my baby, I had very little support here in my city, just my husband. My baby cried for hours every day and I felt like no-one wanted…

I thought there would be more help for me when baby arrived, but my Mum had a mental break down and my in-laws I didn't trust as they never listened…

I am an aunty to 15 tamariki and have seen various versions of villages in play for our babies and in some instances, lack thereof. While 6 live overseas with…

Being a first time mum is lonely and the feelings of not knowing if you are doing things right can really consume you. Those traditional beliefs that inlaws or elders…

I guess I just had high hopes and expectations of a village that never showed up. When my husband and I were engaged we decided to move closer to his…

I grew up in a family where raising children was never really the job of just two people. My mum had me young, so as I got older I naturally…

Even though i live hours away from most of my whānau, I have been so lucky to know they are here for me and my kids. I was even luckier…

It’s really hard when you have an older boy (7ears) and then have a baby. How do you look after yourself and baby but also do packed lunches, school drop…

I had my baby at 19 years old. My whanau didn’t agree with my decision to keep my pepi & still to this day I feel the disappointment they have…

I have limited whanau support within the area I live in and my whanau live 5 hours away. I felt incredibly anxious that I wanted my mum to support me…

Personal opinions need to be minimised in maternity services particularly hospitals, as I felt a lot of judgement from clinical staff about how I fed my baby and pressure from…

When baby comes along nobody tells you about the pressure dads are going to feel. To step up, to be the partner she needs, to be the rock your family…

The village I needed, back in the early 2000's was one that had people who understood about coercive control from high functioning professionals. People who could give me the language…

My husband and I live in Auckland. My parents live in the lower North Island and his in Northland, so we have no close grandparents nearby. However, our best friends…

Kia Ora, my husband and I did everything to plan and prepare. The antenatal classes, research, saving and organising ourselves to be ready for welcoming our first child into the…

We didn't realise until we had out second baby how not normal our first birth was. We knew that there was a bit of an emergency when our first baby…

My aunty came to stay with us when each of our bubba's were born. She cooked and looked after the house so all we had to do was look after…

I had my third baby 2 years ago. I knew she was my last. My postpartum with my other babies wasn’t great. I had a traumatic birth and mental health…

As a mum of 2, with my first child I never really understood work life balance, I was committed to my job and my son came second, although I thought…

I have 3 kids... all 3 of them are to different fathers. I still see the side eyes that people give me (especially my Christian mates) and have even had…

I have one daughter, who is in her early 20's now. She no longer speaks to me, because of the way I treated her while she was growing up. I…

Bro I nearly died giving birth. There was way too much blood and the nurses had to bring doctors in to help get baby out. Baby was fine, it was…

I'm not a dad but I've got like 100 nephews and nieces that chase me around all day. They're annoying but I love them and would do anything for them.…

I'm a papa to two babies. Neither of them are earth side. My partner miscarried. Watching her deal with post partum depression when we don't even have our babies with…

I'm a single mum living in a large city. I've got two kids to two different dads, and no whanau support around me at all. I rely heavily on different…

My baby’s birth wasn’t what I was expecting but I am so lucky my village was able to support me the way I needed them. I recently gave birth to…

Kia ora, Talofa lava! Last December, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. She is my first pēpi and my partner’s second. I had previously moved cities to live with…

With my first baby that I had on my 18th birthday i felt very alone as I didn’t have anyone there supporting me while I gave birth to her. The…

I would describe myself as a "people pleaser" and in turn this increases my expectations of others. While we were blessed to have the support of my parents post-partum, the…

It’s 2026 and in my mid 40s, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is my 4th baby. She is born really small, just over 6lb. After 3…

2022...a surprise pregnancy. A decade since my last child. Im a geriatric mum. Fast forward to birth and after my waters broke and nothing happened I was sent to the…

My first born arrived the second day of the second major Covid lockdown. I was thankful i planned to have him at home and not have to change that plan,…

My mother has never been a particularly supportive mother. She’s had her own issues with mental health and neurodivergence that she’s not willing to get help for. She made a…

After having 4 tamariki, I have experienced what I believe to be postnatal depression. Sometimes I feel as though it’s just environmental as I’ve never had a village. I never…

I had my baby very early via emergency c section in another city. I didn't know any of my care team, and we were relocated for a month before being…

I was 18 years old, having birthed a huge baby. We were struggling to breastfeed and my partner who was also young needed to go to work. There was no…

After having pēps I would get intrusive thoughts about something bad happening to my pēpi, her getting violently hurt. I tried to share this with Plunket and GPs they didn’t…

We received government funding to do IVF as we were trying for 10 years (secondary infertility), it even included free counselling during treatment, but we noticed there wasn't much "support"…

Kia Ora, I am a single màma to a beautiful 2 year old baby. I wanted to share my testimony when I struggled with depression and loneliness all because the…

I still think about my birth because it went from very ok to very not in an instant. My midwife care was not the best, looking back on it, she…

I’m not from NZ but moved here with my husband 4 years ago. We had our baby and had no village around us. My husband returned to work when baby…

My family moved to New Zealand more than 2 years ago and I got pregnant with my 2nd child. We don't have any family who live here hence no immediate…

we've adopted, a conscious choice that came from deeper rooted issues of growing up in a narcissist and abusive household, a vow I made to help a child not grow…

Just before I got pregnant with my middle child, both of my parents died. One died a long and drawn out death, and the other had been sick for a…

Kia ora koutou katoa, my story is fairly long but I will shorten to fit. In 2016 I had my first daughter at 20years old the following year 2017 I…

I had my first three children in my twenties. Their dad and I had a difficult relationship, but his whānau gave me something I didn't fully appreciate at the time:…

When I had my first baby, my child free female friends really showed up, checked in and gave me company (especially the ones who didn’t work during the week), even…

I am Chinese and have lived in NZ since I was 5. A month before my baby was born my mum moved to my city to live with me and…

My baby only just arrived and it is my first baby. The whole experience is new to me and I’m so lucky my village wants to be involved, but I…

I’m not a mum. I was told 4 years ago that I can’t have kids. It broke my heart when I found out. Being Māori, everybody talks about “whakapapa” and…

My partner is very boundaried and needs a lot of alone time, but that was always a huge struggle when baby arrived, because i couldnt just get up and leave…

I think everyone is quick to help when baby is born, but the real help is needed when you're off mat leave and your kids are sick every other week…

I had lock down babies. It was hard and isolating but I guess I didn't know any different. The change of identity was the hardest part. I was desperate to…

When my third Pēpi was born we were so excited. She was finally here and we felt like we kind of knew what we were doing at this point. However…

When my oldest was born, my husband and I were really excited. We thought we were pretty prepared. But things didn’t go to plan. After a very traumatic birth, I…

I’m 27 with five children, my youngest being just six months. I was always aware of PPD lingering around since I had my first child at 18 (9 years ago).…

I had a what heaps of support as a teen parent. Mostly from my siblings and nieces. I had a c-section and so couldn’t walk properly for two weeks. I…

I was 21 when I had pēpi and felt ready, I had grown up quite fast and knew I had a good village around me. I had just started my…

Me and my partner were pretty independent when our daughter was born, she was planned and we had done all the classes etc so thought we were pretty prepared. But…

When my moko was born we were all living together, 4 generations under one roof. My mother in law was 90 and the matriarch of our whānau. My daughter had…

I overheard two of my sisters-in-law talking about their mental health during pregnancy and after their babies were born. They had both struggled with their mental health so they understood…

In terms of our experience with our first born.

I think we were pretty fortunate to have a good foundation as expecting parents we were both in good jobs and had…